ECW - August 29, 2006 Hello again, and welcome back to your favorite ECW recap blog. We're up for some fun. Probably. I'm gonna do this in real-time again, 'cuz that's kinda fun. And it keeps me from procrastinating publishing the entries.

• Paul Heyman's gonna wrestle? WTF? What happened to accentuating the positives and hiding the negatives?
• It didn't take long for an RVD -vs -Bob Holly matchup. What happened to long, drawn-out feuds? I can only guess that we're gonna see some type of screwy ending to this match.
• Oh! I just realized that we didn't start out this week with a Kelly Kelley dance. That's a very good thing. This episode is already one of my favorites of the series.
• Hey, Tazz just tried to explain why these two are wrestling already. "That's the way we do it here in ECW. We don't talk about it, we get in the ring and fight."
• Slow, methodical, kinda plodding match. RVD brings the good stuff, though, and Bob Holly did a good job of making RVD look effective.
• Holly with a chair? That might not be the best idea against RVD. Ayup, RVD gets the chair and beats the crap out of Holly with it. And Ayup, we get a DQ win for Holly for the finish.
• A DQ in ECW? WTF?
• Renee Dupree in ECW? WTF?
• The Big Show is out very early in the show. I must've missed something at the beginning of the show, because Show doesn't look like he's gonna be in the main event. Oh, wait, that's right, Paul Heyman is gonna be wrestling in the main event. WTF?
• Show's bragging about taking out DX, and the upcoming Raw PPV. Because nothing says ECW like DX? Or the McMahons?
• Oh, god, DX just got an invite to ECW. Bleh.
• "Nobody but nobody can beat me." Thanks for stopping by, Show.
• Luna Vachon is topless! Oh, wait, that's Shannon Moore. He still isn't polished enough to wrestle yet? I am beginning to think we aren't going to see him actually wrestle. In the weeks that they've been teasing Moore, both Fertig and CM Punk have made their debuts, and Mike Knox has basically burned through a career.
• Speaking of CM Punk, we have Punk -vs- Stevie Richards. This is probably a better way to showase Punk, as Richards is more his style than Justin Credible. And this match was a lot more exciting than Punk's last couple (though it could've used the crowd involvement that Punk's debut match had). Richards is lookign crisp, almost like Stevie wanted to make the most out of this opportunity to get in the ring on tv.
• Punk's butterfly backbreaker is an awesome-looking move. And Punk's kicks look devastating. But the uranage is only so-so, and the Anaconda Vice just looks silly. Punk's moveset could use some tweaking, and he can use some mic time every week.
• The only thing more impressive than a Sabu match is a Sabu video clip. Sabu has deserved to be pushed as one of the top stars in wrestling. The best thing about the new ECW is that Sabu gets that push. As a Sabu fan, I've gotta say, I'm loving this.
• Previews for The Marine. WTF?
• Hey, Matt Striker! I was glad to see that Scaia ripped me off, er, I mean agreed with me that Striker may just be a perfect addition to ECW. Striker's intellectual elitist snob gimmick is anti-everything that ECW is about. It's brilliant, I tell ya. Brilliant!
• Speaking of which, Stiker is out next, and the focus of his tirade this week is the Sandman. Someone's got a caning coming to 'em...
• "Ossified from his gigawater"???
• Ayup, here comes Sandman! Striker should run here. Draw this out. Either that, or have Striker show his wits and outsmart Sandman. This could be a fun feud!
• Hey, Striker both outsmarted Sandman AND ran away. That was awesome! The timing was a little off, though. Striker was expecting Sandman to charge long before he did, and had a hold of his chalkboard too soon, telegraphing what was coming. And the supposed stapling of Sandman's head didn't look like stapling. But other than that, this was a fun bit. Just what the doctor ordered!
• BALLS! With Kelly? Hmmm...
• As they should have, ECW gave a great send-off for Kurt Angle. As much as I am going to miss seeing him in the ring, it is a good thing that Kurt is out of wrestling for now. The last thing I want to see is for Kurt to cripple himself for our viewing pleasure. Hopefully, some time off to rehab his body, mind, and spirit will get Kurt back to where he needs to be.
• So is tonight the night we get to see who is behind Heyman's security squad's riot helmets?
• Even as ECW's #1 face, Sabu still slaps away fans hands in disgust when they try to pat him on the back on his way to the ring. I love that.
• Oh, off comes the helmets but the security squad are wearing masks. Tease!
• Whoa! Awesome spot, as Sabu goes to do a triple-jump moonsault onto Heyman. Sabu stops on the top rope, then jumps from there out onto Big Show, who is outside the ring. Big Show tries to slam him, but Sabu rolls the slam into a DDT on the floor. Very nice spot.
• Oh, but now Sabu is all alone against Show, the Security Squad, and Heyman (theoretically). Someone's gotta come to Sabu's aid, wouldn't you think?
• Heyman looks like he is having a blast playing the heel. Who woulda thunk that Paul E. would turn into Mr. McMahon?
• Big Show calling for the Security Squad to set up a table. That's gotta be a bad idea.
• Sabu with a comeback, but it is silenced by a ginormous clothesline. Then a gargantuan headbutt. Show just revels in the "Big Show Sucks" chants. Show should never be a face; he's born to be a heel.
• RVD! Van Dam's gonna help out Sabu? Well, 'til the headbutt, anyway. But a Van Daminator silences Show. Van Daminator #2! And now RVD flies, taking out the security squad. That leaves Heyman alone in the ring with Sabu! Standing Arabian Facebuster on Heyman! Heyman on the table! Sabu goes for a triple-jump, but Show spears him right out of the air. Awesome spot!
• Bob Holly? Holly takes out RVD with an Alabama Slam through a table. OUCH! Show with the chickenwing backbreaker on Sabu, then a spinning legdrop. Show pulls Heyman on top of Sabu, and the pinfall is academic. Heyman's a puddle on the mat, but he's also the winner of the match.
• And Holly's not done! Another table, and who's gonna go through it? Sabu, of course, as Show chokeslams Sabu through to end the show. Brutal.

Damn, all in all, ECW was an excellent show tonight. There's maybe too much of Raw and DX, but other than that, there's nothing to complain about. This makes, what, three weeks in a row of quality shows? Maybe four weeks? Long enough that we can forget about the garbage that was thrown out the first few episodes and concentrate on some general goodness. Sure, this is nothing like the original ECW. But judged on its own, the new ECW is officially the second best pro wrestling show going today.  ¶ 8:42 PM 0 comments

  ECW - August 22, 2006 Well, since I'm already doing reviews in real-time using bullet points, I might as well keep going for this week's show:

• Goddammit. Does Kelly have a contract that she gets to open up every show or something? And again with a non-ECW star (Torrie Wilson). Boring, just so horribly boring. 'specially since we knew a Knox run-in was coming.
• Hey, the Sandman speaks! Are we gonna have an inter-gender six-person tag? We are! And a stinkface by Torrie, too. no, wait, that part sucked.
• Sandman with a suplex? Sandman with a ... Rolling Rock? That works for me.
• Knox has obviously studied at the RVD school of taking a DDT, as he goes perpendicular to the mat on Dreamer's DDT. That's gotta be dangerous, but it also make a DDT look deadly. Good job by Knox on that sell, and good decision to have Sandman and Dreamer get a clean pin over Knox and Test.
• Matt Striker? Really? Hmmm.... I might actually be okay with that. Especially with this amusing intellectual elitist act. Striker is funny! He was funny on Raw. He's funny here on ECW. This could be a good pickup.
• FERTIG! Er, I mean, Kevin Thorn. I wanna see if they keep running with the gimmick of having Thorn stop paying attention to the match so he can lick Ariel.
• BALLS!
• Okay, this week Thorn does look pretty huge.
• Damn Arial has some nice b00bies.
• Thorn with the win, but Balls made it competitive. The match got a little sloppy towards the end, as Thorn had some trouble carrying Balls around. But all in all, that was an entertaining match.
• WOW! CW Anderson? Where the hell did he come from? I knew that he was theoretically on the ECW roster, but didn't expect to see him anytime soon. Hopefully doing the job to Punk tonight will lead to more opportunities in the future. But why is he now Christopher W. Anderson? Does CM Punk have a monopoly on two-letter first names starting with C or something? Good match between Punk and Anderson. Their styles meshed well.
• Hardcore Holly? The fuck? Holly had some very scary times health-wise, and it's amazing he's back at all. So I guess I'll cut him some slack.
• RVD -vs Doring with a serving of squash! But I didn't expect to have Hardcore Holly come in and attack RVD at the end. That was kinda cool, especially as Bob Points-To-Self while yelling "Hard Core Holly". Even cooler, I thought that Holly was going to interfere in the title match (to make the "impact" that Heyman was talking about). It's good to see him out here now.
• Again. Renee Dupree. WTF?
• Champion enters first? That's not right. Hopefully he gets introduced last to maintain some type of ties to tradition. Oh, yeah, that's exactly what they do.
• Damn, Big Show's chops are awesome. I think he's taken the "Best Chops in Wrestling" title from Ric Flair. He also might have the best fall-away slam in the business now that JBL is on the shelf.
• We knew this match was headed to a DQ from the beginning, since it wasn't hardcore rules. Still, it was entertaining as hell. And watching Sabu flip out, beating the crap out of Show with the ringbell, then knocking Show through the table, was ultra-cool. Good stuff, another great main event. And really, isn't that just about all you can hope for?

For the second week in a row, ECW delivers the goods. I am starting to think that the new ECW has found its identity, and is going to start rolling out good stuff from now on.  ¶ 9:02 PM 0 comments

  ECW - August 15, 2006 I was out of town for the August 15 episode of ECW, so I'll do an ultra-quick review as I watch it:

• Foley with a killer promo to start things out. But another friggin' dance with Kelly? wtf?
• Thank god for Ric Flair, who breaks up the horrible dancing with some violence. But Foley and Flair? Which one of them is an ECW wrestlers again? Oh, yeah, neither one. It's an ECW show, what the fuck was I thinking expecting ECW wrestlers?
• Commercial already?
• Lord help me, but Shannon Moore still looks like Luna Vachon.
• Rematch between Justin Credible and CM Punk? That's not what I expected. But I did expect Punk to win the match, and rather easily.
• Hmmm... RVD's promo from on top of a ladder wasn't as good as I expected. Still, it got the point across.
• Why the fuck is Renee Dupree in ECW? And why is he stealing Rick "The Model" Martel's gimmick?
• Hey, the FBI! And a tag-team match! I thought both were gone from the new ECW. Welcome back!
• Oh, it's Knox and Test. Bah. More of the undeserved over-push for Knox and Test. Not even a run-in by Sandman and Dreamer can make this watchable.
• KURTH ANGLE! ANGLE! Make Angle look like a badass. That's awesome! Kurt beat the crap out of everyone he could get his hands on, 'til he was outnumbered. Brilliant, and unexpected. Awesome headbutt, too! And Big Show yelling, "That's assault! I want him arrested!" I say again, that was awesome!
• Is it just me, or do both RVD and Sabu sell a bit more enthusiastically for each other than for other opponents?
• These two are amazing with the way they can use a ladder in with their offense. A camel clutch on the ladder? A ddt into the ladder? Very good stuff.
• OH! Sabu wipes out trying a triple-jump off the ladder. It looked like it was a setup, since RVD capitalized immediately. But it still looked awesome.
• ROLLING THUNDER ONTO THE LADDER! That's gotta hurt!
• ARABIAN FACE BUSTER ONTO THE LADDER! These two are both insane!
• Big Show with an awesome throw out of the ring and through a table on RVD. I don't think Rob will be back in this match...
• That was cool; Sabu rode the Big Show up to the contract to win the match. And having the Show destroy both Sabu and RVD was a good idea, too. Show also needs to look like a badass. And this helps get him over even more as a heel.

Damn. This show could've been better, 'specially without Knox and Test, but it was still pretty friggin' good. This is much better than what WWE puts on on either Monday or Friday nights. If the new ECW can keep this up, we might have some very fun times ahead of us.  ¶ 9:00 PM 0 comments

  E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! Well, that was unexpected. Here I was, all ready to give up on the new ECW, when they come through with a surprisingly good show. This was easily the best episode of the new ECW. And I don't mean that as a back-handed compliment. This week's show was very good stuff. And it gave hints of the reason why I loved the original ECW so much.

Part of what made this week's show so enjoyable is a break from some of the crappier bits of the new ECW. Most notably:

• No two minute segments of Kelly allegedly dancing
• No random WWE guy wrestling in the main event

With two legs up over the past few weeks, this show was definitely on to something. But then ECW packed in some really good stuff, too. And I'm in a bullet point kinda mood, so I'll go through the good points thusly:

• We have more continuing hostilities between Dreamer, Sandman, Test, and Knox (ugh). Sandman came to Tommy's rescue, which resulted in Sandman taking a minor beating, before handing out a number of awesome Singapore cane shots to Test and Knox. Good stuff all around.
• Paul Heyman the Messiah. The groundwork for a Heyman -vs- ECW Originals feud has been excellently done. Turning Heyman heel back when RVD was suspended seemed like a brilliant move at the time. It's turned out to be even more brilliant than originally thought. The massive "You Sold Out" changs at the Hammerstein Ballroom last week showed that Heyman is under hardcore ECW fans skin, and he has casual fans hating him, too. Now if we can just get a little more indication of Heyman's motivations and direction...
• On a sidenote, what is the deal with that one member of Heyman's security team and his riot helmet? The dude can't even throw a punch without the helmet almost slipping off. Dude, either put a chinstrap on that helmet, or find some double-sided tape. You'd look much more initimidating if you didn't constantly have a hand on your helmet. And is it just the awkwardness of the riot gear that's making these two seem so green? Their beatdowns don't look very realistic.
• Another disqualification? WTF? Why in the hell are any ECW matches not Extreme Rules? What the fuck does WWE think the E in ECW stands for? Someone's gotta wise up and make this change.
• Sandman saying "Screw the match, I'm gonna cane the crap out of everyone" was perfect. It's totally in-character, and is gonna keep getting Sandman over with new fans. I dunno how much longer I can deal with Knox in these high-profile feuds. But at least Knox isn't a washed-up WWE "superstar," so I guess I have to cut them some slack.
• Kevin Thorn gets another victory over and ECW Original. This time around, it is Al Snow who is kind enough to make Thorn look like a badass for three minutes. Thorn is apparently much bigger than he looks in the ring, or ECW is really rounding up on his weight (270 lbs? Really?). The former Fertig looks solid, and sets up a fun little gimmick where he stops beating on his opponent so he can go make out with Ariel for a bit. That's gonna play well, and is gonna end up costing Thorn a match or two in the future. And I mean that in a good way.
• Not so good: Bloodlust? WTF? Joey and Tazz, please never use that word again.
• Kurt friggin' Angle. I missed Angle while he was out, but I didn't realize just how much I missed him 'til he came back. His promo on Sabu was solid, intense, and believable. Let me say this again, in bold this time: Give Kurt Angle an ECW World Title run. He deserves it!
• Rene Dupree.... why?
• Big Show looks like he's having a blast now that he's able to be an all-out heel again. One of the major downsides to bringing in non-ECW wrestlers to challenge Show is that it sets up a situatino where people would normally root for the Show, just because he is (supposedly) ECW. Show's character should be a heel, though, since he helped steal the world title away from RVD. Show's promo was just about perfect, if only he hadn't used the same line that Kurt Angle had used just minutes earlier (about it being Suicidal for Sabu to step into the ring with him).
• CM Punk's push continued with another strong promo. There were hints of heelishness in the promo this time around, though. Interesting; will Punk play better as a heel?
• The main event was simply awesome. I was worried that their styles wouldn't mesh well, but they did a good job of playing up the strengths of each man. When things picked up speed and people started flying, Sabu continually got the upper hand. But when things slowed down and hit the mat, it was all Angle. Neither man seemed to have a decisive advantage 'til the end, when it looked like Angle was stronger. Angle locked in the ankle lock, and really, that's where the match should've ended decisively. Sabu would not be "hurt" by tapping out to Angle. It is Kurt friggin' Angle we are talking about! Instead, we get RVD! RVD! RVD!
• Van Dam's return couldn't have been done better. Well, he coulda hit the Van Daminator #1 on Angle, but other than that, it was perfect. Taking out both men, and then chewing them out to end the show, was exactly what Van Dam should have done. RVD should be pissed that he lost the title, and pissed that anyone else but him would get a title shot. This also opens up many different future storylines. It was another stroke of brilliance.

This was easily the best show of the new ECW. It was good enough to give me hope for future episodes, and to make me look forward to next week.
  ¶ 5:20 PM 0 comments

  Fuck Vince's ECW Your ever-cranky wrestleblogger is even crankier than normal this week, thanks to a kidney stone. So this entry is going to be shorter than most. Who knows, that might be a good thing!

I'm also cranky about this week's episode of ECW. How the fuck do you screw up what should've been an awesome show? All the pieces were in place: Hammerstein Ballroom. Kurt Angle's return. CM Punk's debut. Ready-made storylines for Sabu/Big Show, Dreamer/Test and Sandman/Knox. This should've been a blow-away hour.

Instead, it was a most definite "eh." The Dreamer/Sandman -vs- Test/Knox match was far too short, and too sloppy at the open. Things kicked into high gear once poor Tommy Dreamer started taking major abuse (and who didn't know that Dreamer would be the one going into the barb-wire table the second it made its appearance?). And the finish, with Tommy going into the table not once but twice, was sick and violent enough to hint towards classic ECW. But the problem is that happened like three minutes into a rather dull match, instead of, say, 13 minutes into a match that has drawn us in. Oh, the other nod to classic ECW - Dreamer spanking Kelly - was pretty fun, too. But add a little spanking fun, a little extreme violence, and a whole lotta by-the-numbers stuff, and you've got a match that can't rise much above "okay."

CM Punk was big-time over, as was expected. The fans konw what they wanted, and Punk is that. And the match was actually enjoyable, if way too short. I think it was a very good idea to let Justin Credible get in some offense, too. ECW will be stronger if the guys that job at least look competitive in the match. And Credible did, especially as he countered some of Punk's high-risk offense. Punk got the win, of course, and should have a huge push coming up.

Kurt Angle's return was very, very strange. The Brooklyin Brawler? WTF? Kudos to Steve Lombardi for being Angle's sacrificial lamb, but really, couldn't that have gone to an actual ECW wrestler? Stevie Richards isn't doing anything. Neither are Danny Doring, Roadkill, Al Snow, all three members of the FBI... Why not have an ECW star bear Angle's vengeance? It just doesn't make sense.... it is like Vince doesn't trust ECW wrestlers to carry ECW. Which makes you wonder just why the fuck he bothered to hire/reactivate the ECW wrestlers in the first place.

On the other hand, the fans loved Angle's return. Kurt got an awesome "WELCOME BACK!" chant. And, staying in character, Angle didn't respond to it. That is a professional, ladies and gentleman. ECW's Kurt Angle is supposed to be a wrestling machine, someone so focussed, so intense, that nothing can distract him. Not even a massive chant welcoming him back to the ring.

And the main event.... how does one even approach the main event? God, that sucked. I dunno if Show and Batista figured, "Aw, screw this. If they're gonna boo us out of the building, why should we even try here?" or what. But both men seemed to be moving in slow motion. There was never much excitement nor heart to the match. Well, except for the crowd, who fired up some awesome chants ("YOU BOTH SUCK!"  "CHANGE THE CHANNEL!"  "YOU CAN'T WRESTLE!"). Show did start playing along with the crowd, flipping the bird and pointing out that he was getting paid the big bucks. But that bit of entertainment can't make up for a match that basically SUCKED ASS!

Of course, Vince couldn't handle Batista doing a job to Show, so we got a DQ finish to an ECW match. Again, WTF?

At this point, I am ready to write off Vince's ECW. It is obvious now that not only will the new ECW never recapture the magic of the original ECW, but Vince doesn't even want to recapture the magic. He wants this to be another soulless, boring, unentertaining piece of crap.

And that pisses me the fuck off.
  ¶ 10:59 PM 0 comments