Thursday, August 03, 2006
Fuck Vince's ECW
Your ever-cranky wrestleblogger is even crankier than normal this week, thanks to a kidney stone. So this entry is going to be shorter than most. Who knows, that might be a good thing!
I'm also cranky about this week's episode of ECW. How the fuck do you screw up what should've been an awesome show? All the pieces were in place: Hammerstein Ballroom. Kurt Angle's return. CM Punk's debut. Ready-made storylines for Sabu/Big Show, Dreamer/Test and Sandman/Knox. This should've been a blow-away hour.
Instead, it was a most definite "eh." The Dreamer/Sandman -vs- Test/Knox match was far too short, and too sloppy at the open. Things kicked into high gear once poor Tommy Dreamer started taking major abuse (and who didn't know that Dreamer would be the one going into the barb-wire table the second it made its appearance?). And the finish, with Tommy going into the table not once but twice, was sick and violent enough to hint towards classic ECW. But the problem is that happened like three minutes into a rather dull match, instead of, say, 13 minutes into a match that has drawn us in. Oh, the other nod to classic ECW - Dreamer spanking Kelly - was pretty fun, too. But add a little spanking fun, a little extreme violence, and a whole lotta by-the-numbers stuff, and you've got a match that can't rise much above "okay."
CM Punk was big-time over, as was expected. The fans konw what they wanted, and Punk is that. And the match was actually enjoyable, if way too short. I think it was a very good idea to let Justin Credible get in some offense, too. ECW will be stronger if the guys that job at least look competitive in the match. And Credible did, especially as he countered some of Punk's high-risk offense. Punk got the win, of course, and should have a huge push coming up.
Kurt Angle's return was very, very strange. The Brooklyin Brawler? WTF? Kudos to Steve Lombardi for being Angle's sacrificial lamb, but really, couldn't that have gone to an actual ECW wrestler? Stevie Richards isn't doing anything. Neither are Danny Doring, Roadkill, Al Snow, all three members of the FBI... Why not have an ECW star bear Angle's vengeance? It just doesn't make sense.... it is like Vince doesn't trust ECW wrestlers to carry ECW. Which makes you wonder just why the fuck he bothered to hire/reactivate the ECW wrestlers in the first place.
On the other hand, the fans loved Angle's return. Kurt got an awesome "WELCOME BACK!" chant. And, staying in character, Angle didn't respond to it. That is a professional, ladies and gentleman. ECW's Kurt Angle is supposed to be a wrestling machine, someone so focussed, so intense, that nothing can distract him. Not even a massive chant welcoming him back to the ring.
And the main event.... how does one even approach the main event? God, that sucked. I dunno if Show and Batista figured, "Aw, screw this. If they're gonna boo us out of the building, why should we even try here?" or what. But both men seemed to be moving in slow motion. There was never much excitement nor heart to the match. Well, except for the crowd, who fired up some awesome chants ("YOU BOTH SUCK!" "CHANGE THE CHANNEL!" "YOU CAN'T WRESTLE!"). Show did start playing along with the crowd, flipping the bird and pointing out that he was getting paid the big bucks. But that bit of entertainment can't make up for a match that basically SUCKED ASS!
Of course, Vince couldn't handle Batista doing a job to Show, so we got a DQ finish to an ECW match. Again, WTF?
At this point, I am ready to write off Vince's ECW. It is obvious now that not only will the new ECW never recapture the magic of the original ECW, but Vince doesn't even want to recapture the magic. He wants this to be another soulless, boring, unentertaining piece of crap.
And that pisses me the fuck off.
¶ 10:59 PM
I'm also cranky about this week's episode of ECW. How the fuck do you screw up what should've been an awesome show? All the pieces were in place: Hammerstein Ballroom. Kurt Angle's return. CM Punk's debut. Ready-made storylines for Sabu/Big Show, Dreamer/Test and Sandman/Knox. This should've been a blow-away hour.
Instead, it was a most definite "eh." The Dreamer/Sandman -vs- Test/Knox match was far too short, and too sloppy at the open. Things kicked into high gear once poor Tommy Dreamer started taking major abuse (and who didn't know that Dreamer would be the one going into the barb-wire table the second it made its appearance?). And the finish, with Tommy going into the table not once but twice, was sick and violent enough to hint towards classic ECW. But the problem is that happened like three minutes into a rather dull match, instead of, say, 13 minutes into a match that has drawn us in. Oh, the other nod to classic ECW - Dreamer spanking Kelly - was pretty fun, too. But add a little spanking fun, a little extreme violence, and a whole lotta by-the-numbers stuff, and you've got a match that can't rise much above "okay."
CM Punk was big-time over, as was expected. The fans konw what they wanted, and Punk is that. And the match was actually enjoyable, if way too short. I think it was a very good idea to let Justin Credible get in some offense, too. ECW will be stronger if the guys that job at least look competitive in the match. And Credible did, especially as he countered some of Punk's high-risk offense. Punk got the win, of course, and should have a huge push coming up.
Kurt Angle's return was very, very strange. The Brooklyin Brawler? WTF? Kudos to Steve Lombardi for being Angle's sacrificial lamb, but really, couldn't that have gone to an actual ECW wrestler? Stevie Richards isn't doing anything. Neither are Danny Doring, Roadkill, Al Snow, all three members of the FBI... Why not have an ECW star bear Angle's vengeance? It just doesn't make sense.... it is like Vince doesn't trust ECW wrestlers to carry ECW. Which makes you wonder just why the fuck he bothered to hire/reactivate the ECW wrestlers in the first place.
On the other hand, the fans loved Angle's return. Kurt got an awesome "WELCOME BACK!" chant. And, staying in character, Angle didn't respond to it. That is a professional, ladies and gentleman. ECW's Kurt Angle is supposed to be a wrestling machine, someone so focussed, so intense, that nothing can distract him. Not even a massive chant welcoming him back to the ring.
And the main event.... how does one even approach the main event? God, that sucked. I dunno if Show and Batista figured, "Aw, screw this. If they're gonna boo us out of the building, why should we even try here?" or what. But both men seemed to be moving in slow motion. There was never much excitement nor heart to the match. Well, except for the crowd, who fired up some awesome chants ("YOU BOTH SUCK!" "CHANGE THE CHANNEL!" "YOU CAN'T WRESTLE!"). Show did start playing along with the crowd, flipping the bird and pointing out that he was getting paid the big bucks. But that bit of entertainment can't make up for a match that basically SUCKED ASS!
Of course, Vince couldn't handle Batista doing a job to Show, so we got a DQ finish to an ECW match. Again, WTF?
At this point, I am ready to write off Vince's ECW. It is obvious now that not only will the new ECW never recapture the magic of the original ECW, but Vince doesn't even want to recapture the magic. He wants this to be another soulless, boring, unentertaining piece of crap.
And that pisses me the fuck off.
¶ 10:59 PM
