ECW - October 24, 2006 Well, here I am again, after missing three weeks of ECW in a row. This wasn't really by choice: I was on vacation for one of the weeks, the next week my TiVo didn't record ECW for some reason, and last week I was travelling for business. I actually did watch last week's ECW, but I didn't recap it. And what did I miss while I was gone?

Well, not much, actually. All feuds are on slow-simmer. Rob Van Dam has clawed his way back into the #1 contender position. Mike Knox and CM Punk are gonna eventually have some type of feud. Sandman is still paired up with Matt Striker. Sabu got jostled down the card for some reason. Bob Holly is being pushed to the sky as a face (wtf?) to capitalize on his gritty performance while his back was ripped open against RVD. Yay for Holly, I guess, but I am already tiring of him. Tough, yes. Interesting? Not so much.

I guess that's enough setup. Let's get to tonight's show!

• And we start out with... a recap of last week's match between RVD and Big Show. The ref shot from last week was really, really weak. The Five Star Frogsplash wasn't, though. Nor were the cheers from the crowd after RVD's (rather obvious) victory. I reckon we'll hear more about this laster in the program.
• Or right now, as Van Dam is on his way to the ring. That's a way to get things of to a fast start. There's problems with the audio tonight, so it's hard to make out exactly what RVD is saying, other than he wants to know when he gets his title shot.
• It's Heyman and his Security Force! Paul has the contract for the title match (fortunately, it has the word Contract in 72-point font on it, to make it easy to read on camera). One catch: RVD's gonna have to win a ladder match against Big Show to cash in on the title shot. Hmmm... Oh, the Security Force attacks RVD after Heyman shuts up, but RVD easily disposes of the Bashams (or whoever the hell it is under the masks. I no longer care, to tell the truth). Our main event is now set up!
• CM Punk is out next, and he's still getting a massive ovation. What is it about this guy that the crowd loves? Is it just that he has a unique look and style? Oh, no, wait, those're good things, and those're probably the exact reasons the crowd loves him.
• Punk's opponent... Matt Striker! Taz and Joey really want us to notice Striker's checkered wrestling trunks, so I reckon I'll mention them. Striker uses the steel ringpost to soften up Punk's arm and uses this to get about 30 seconds of offense in, then it's back to Punk dominating. Punk goes for the Urange, but Mike Knox finally gets physically involved with Punk. Well, if you can call Knox's anemic offense being physically involved. Punk knocks Knox out of the ring with a kick, and Knox decides to take a powder. Can't you feel the excitement?
• Me neither.
• Speaking about a lack of excitement, Test is on his way out to the ring. Taz says that Test is always in a bad mood, and I guess that is the attitude that Test is trying to exude. I think he just looks bored, personally. But battling Bob Holly should perk him up a little tonight. Can't you smell the non-decision?
• Holly all over Test 'til the battle spills to the ring floor. Holly's back looks amazingly non-scarred. Must just be the camera angle. Test starts in with the clubberin', but Holly ain't down with that, and takes control of the match back with one (1) clothesline out of the corner. Holly tying Test up in the ropes! There's something we don't see as much as we should.
• Oh! There's the scar! Yeah, that's nasty!
• HOLY SHIT! Suplex from the ring apron down to the floor! Didn't they learn that that was a bad idea when Bob's back was ripped open? That was just sick, absolutely sick! Amazingly, both men avoid injury, and both are back in the ring when we come back from commercial.
• Test in control and working over Holly's back. Irish whip goes awry: if this were an old-school ECW event, we'd be hearing a "YOU FUCKED UP!" chant. Alas, there's just a mild smattering of moans. Big response once Holly gets control back and plays up for the crowd. Which just proves that pushing Holly for all he's worth right now is a good idea, I guess. Test crotched on the top turnbuckle (Ouchie!). Holly pulls a page out of Beautiful Bobby Eaton's book with a legdrop off the top rope. Duelling blocked finishers. Test with a roll-up, and I'll be damned, I was wrong. Test with a fist full of trunks to get the pin on Holly. Long match, but it pretty much rocked all the way through.
• Test isn't happy with his cheap victory, so he grabs a chair and beats the tar out of Holly with it. Is anyone going to come to Holly's rescue? Maybe John Cena in TheMarine. Or something like that. WTF?
• Sandman speaks! Heh... "I've beaten up plenty of Samoans in bars in my life." Beer bash! Second heh: "I'm the Sandman, and I approved this message."
• It's our main event! I still dunno what to think of having the stipulations of last week's match null and void. On the one hand, this match should kick all kinds of ass tonight. On the other hand, talk about bait-and-switch! I can only assume that this is to keep the belt on Show through the PPV this Sunday, then allow the opportunity to move the title off Show (giving him time to heal up) the next week.
• Show's a comedian! RVD brings a ladder into the ring, Show kicks it out then gives a smirking "I don't think so" gesture. RVD then goes apeshit, hitting Show with a variety of moves, including a scary looking legdrop with Show draped over the top rope. RVD brings another ladder into the ring, but Show takes the advantage with a headbutt to the back of RVD's noggin. Irish whip into the ladder, and RVD's in trouble. Show setting up the ladder... oh, no, he's using the ladder to swing at the contract! That looked pretty cool. RVD with a ladder to Show's gut, then to Show's head. Van Daminator using a ladder instead of a chair! Rolling Thunder with a ladder instead of a chair! RVD and Show are both down.
• RVD climbling, and there's our obligatory "knock the dude off the ladder" spot. RVD goes throat-first into the top rope, and rebounds back into the ring. Show is wearing a 1/8th crimson mask. I don't think that's even a 0.125 Muta... Show uses the ladder to regain the advantage, but gets taken down by a Scintillating Spear. Show's gonna try a splash off the second rope onto the ladder. RVD moves, Show actually came down on his feet, then gently fell on top of the ladder. 10 points for the idea, minus a hundred thousand for execution. RVD tries to capitalize, but there's a chokeslam! Show has the ladder set up! But RVD leapfrogs it, and theoretically lands onto Show in the perfect position for a hurricarana, and theoretically hurricuranas Show over the top rope out onto the floor. I say hypothetically, 'cuz that was one fucking sloppy spot. RVD ended up going over the top rope and to the floor by himself, with Show following two seconds later. Either Show is really hurting, or timing is off big-time between the two of them tonight. Either way, RVD gets back into the ring all by his lonesome, scales the ladder, and reaffirms his #1 Contender status. Show seems more than a little upset, though we'll never know if it's because RVD won or the match was so sloppy.

And we're out! A couple of good matches, a couple of squashes. All in all, it was a pretty good show. Holy crap, was that Eric Bischoff I just saw on my TV? I guess I should tune into Raw every now and .... Actually, no, I have better things to do with my Monday nights.

Anyway, I am OUT!  ¶ 9:46 PM