Thursday, November 30, 2006
ECW - November 28, 2006
Ah, I'm all caught up again, and ready to get back to work recapping ECW on SciFi. Aside from a pretty awesome Hardy Boyz reunion/squash of the F.B.I., last week's episode was rather dull. It doesn't help that Bob Holly is in the main event. But what made things worse is that there was no doubt how the main event would end. There's no way that Rob Van Dam wasn't going to be in the Elimination Chamber, so there was no way that Holly was going to win the match. So why feature a match in the main event when every fan there knew what was coming?
Also amazing to me is the fact that we have a PPV coming up in a few days. A PPV featuring the Elimination Chamber and.... ummm.... Well, not much else. This is the wrestling equivalent of Phase 2. If there had been any thought to trying to build up an undercard, it could've been done. But no one on the ECW creative team seems to care much about consistency nor future storylines. Everything is about the main event, and there's nothing about anything else. I mean, seriously, what could you even do at this point? About the only feuds that were built up were CM Punk and Knox (can't do that since Punk is in the Elimination Chamber) and between Test and the ECW Originals (can't do that since Test is in the Elimination chamber). I reckon we'll have a Balls Mahoney -vs- Kevin Thorn match (yay?), but aside from that...
And of course there's the Elimination Chamber itself. From where I sit, you can immediately rule out Test, CM Punk and Sabu coming out of this with the title. Test and Punk I agree with; Sabu I think should be crowned champ. But if they were gonna put the title on him, they would've earlier this year. And they wouldn't be pushing RVD so hard the last few weeks. I think it is also safe to say that The Big Show isn't gonna retain the title here, too. Show can obviously use a little time off, and losing the title here isn't going to hurt him any at all.
So that leaves us with Bobby Lashley and Rob Van Dam as the only two realistic winners of the match. Now normally, I would've already called this match for RVD. Right up until Lashley joined the roster, I was certain that RVD would be getting the belt back at December to Dismember. Now, I am not so certain. Not because putting the belt on Lashley would be a good thing to do. Precisely the opposite: it's such a bad idea that I can see the current braintrust (such as it is) thinking, hey, yeah, this'll shock them all. And he's a WWE guy, too!
I'm hoping that no one is that stupid, and that we see what everyone's paying their money for: RVD reclaims the ECW World Championship.
But maybe we should see what happens on tonight's show:
Also amazing to me is the fact that we have a PPV coming up in a few days. A PPV featuring the Elimination Chamber and.... ummm.... Well, not much else. This is the wrestling equivalent of Phase 2. If there had been any thought to trying to build up an undercard, it could've been done. But no one on the ECW creative team seems to care much about consistency nor future storylines. Everything is about the main event, and there's nothing about anything else. I mean, seriously, what could you even do at this point? About the only feuds that were built up were CM Punk and Knox (can't do that since Punk is in the Elimination Chamber) and between Test and the ECW Originals (can't do that since Test is in the Elimination chamber). I reckon we'll have a Balls Mahoney -vs- Kevin Thorn match (yay?), but aside from that...
And of course there's the Elimination Chamber itself. From where I sit, you can immediately rule out Test, CM Punk and Sabu coming out of this with the title. Test and Punk I agree with; Sabu I think should be crowned champ. But if they were gonna put the title on him, they would've earlier this year. And they wouldn't be pushing RVD so hard the last few weeks. I think it is also safe to say that The Big Show isn't gonna retain the title here, too. Show can obviously use a little time off, and losing the title here isn't going to hurt him any at all.
So that leaves us with Bobby Lashley and Rob Van Dam as the only two realistic winners of the match. Now normally, I would've already called this match for RVD. Right up until Lashley joined the roster, I was certain that RVD would be getting the belt back at December to Dismember. Now, I am not so certain. Not because putting the belt on Lashley would be a good thing to do. Precisely the opposite: it's such a bad idea that I can see the current braintrust (such as it is) thinking, hey, yeah, this'll shock them all. And he's a WWE guy, too!
I'm hoping that no one is that stupid, and that we see what everyone's paying their money for: RVD reclaims the ECW World Championship.
But maybe we should see what happens on tonight's show:
- Cold open, as Paul Heyman is already in the ring to tell us his name and discuss current events. Heyman explains the rules of the Chamber (as far as I can tell, the only difference for the Extreme version is that everyone in the pods get to have a weapon with them). Oh, we get introduced to the weapons, via the Basham squad: a chair, a crowbar, a table, and a barb wire baseball bat. [Funny moment: a Basham throws the table down on the mat pretty close to Heyman: Heyman stops talking and gives him a "what the fuck?" look.] And.... that was the segment? WTF?
- RVD and Sabu are out, apparently we're gonna have a tag-team match tonight? Oh, no, we're getting an RVD -vs- Sabu match tonight. That's unexpected!
- Sabu and RVD are having a hard time getting on the same page to start out the match. Things were so bad, Sabu whiffed on an attempted hurricarana, crashing to the mat in a pile. RVD covered for him, and moved straight into the planned spot: a collision as Sabu tried for a springboard kick and Sabu tried to come off the ropes with a kick. And we head to commercial break!
- RVD and Sabu didn't get back on track, though. RVD tries a suplex out of the ring, which Sabu blocks. Sabu was supposed to hit that wicked cool sunset flip powerbomb over the top rope out to the floor. But Sabu didn't hold on, and instead went crashing to the floor in another heap. Ouchie! RVD with a moonsault-style kick from the apron to the ring floor (maybe the powerbomb spot was planned)? Into the ring, RVD misses a legdrop over the top rope, allowing Sabu a sitting dropkick. RVD with a wicked head-first German suplex for 2. Sabu bleeding profusely from the mouth. Sabu with a triple-jump guillotine legdrop, but then misses a legdrop over the top rope. RVD with Rolling Thunder! Sabu with a number of springboard moves, cover only gets 2. Sabu with a springboard tornado DDT attempt, but RVD saw it coming and plants Sabu. RVD up to the top rope, Five Star Frogsplash! That'll do it; RVD gets a clean pin over Sabu. Foreshadowing?
- Hey, The Hardys are still here in ECW! And apparently they are not Boyz anymore, but are just Hardys. Or Team Extreme. No matter what, it's cool to have the Hardys around. They could've fit into any iteration of ECW. Now MNM, on the other hand... At least that makes another match for the PPV.
- Team Xtreme is taking on Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay. I'm not really recapping this, because I expect this to be a squash. And it basically was just that. Poetry In Motion leads to a Swanton Bomb for the pin. And here's MNM! And as much as Melina does belong in ECW, Nitro and Mercury just don't fit in.
- Oh, I guess I should've paid attention more at the start of the show. Apparently, the participants in the elimination chamber are being paired up for matches tonight. Hence RVD -vs- Sabu, and our next match, CM Punk -vs- Test. Are we gonna get another clean finish? So far, we've had nothing but. And I think that's all we got on last week's show, too. Clean finishes will definitely make me happy.
- Speaking of which, Punk and Test are up. Test controls most of the match with his strength and power moves, but Punk is able to use his speed to gain control. But did you really need me to type that? That's the standard story for a big man/little man match, ya know? Ah, crap, Test and Punk brawl into the crowd and they both get counted out. So much for a clean finish!
- Our main event actually has the champ in it this week! On the way to the ring, Heyman demands to know why Show is risking the investment that Heyman has made in him. Show doesn't answer; Heyman says, "At least let me go with you!" Hmmm... Heyman is sounding close to the way he sounded when he turned heel against RVD. Foreshadowing?
- Not much is gonna happen here, I think. Especially since there's only like 3 minutes 'til the "scheduled" end of the show. Power -vs- power, and Show ends up with the advantage. But Lashley actually superplexes Show off the second rope! Lashley takes Show down with a spear! Lashley covers, but the Bashams are here to prevent the win. Test is out, too, and Lashley's getting destroyed from all angles. Chokeslam from Show puts an exclamation point on the beatdown. Oh, Show decides to cement the deal with a cobra clutch slam, then a belt shot to the head. Show actually covers Lashley and Heyman counts to three. I don't think that's gonna make this count as a clean finish, guys!
- Once nice touch here: No one came to save Lashley. Bobby's still brand new to ECW; he shouldn't have (m)any friends right now.
- We're out with the Show holding the ECW World Championship up high. Hopefully for the last time.
